Satisfaction.

So I'll start out by saying that I can't remember the last time I chose to listen to The Four Tops over something like Underoath or Marilyn Manson. I mean, in general, the sheer aesthetic of hardcore will always appeal to me more-so than any genre of music, as it always has - but - most of my hardcore music is about discomfort or distress in some way. Manson attacks consumerism, superficiality, blind faith, among other things; Underoath chronicles personal struggles with impurity, retelling the tumult of trying to cling onto that which is chaste and everlasting in us. Not only have I always related to the deeper undertones of this sort of music, but let's face it, who doesn't love those carnal, guttural screams at six in the morning, or any time of day, for that matter?

Well, today I chose to listen to a song about being totally stoked on life: "Can't Help Myself." Historically, the 50s happy-go-lucky, politically correct, blandness that characterized the older generation's music was a major turn-off to me. But every now and then, I'll admit, it makes me feel so wonderful to relate to an artist who simply has no complaints about life.

Recently I was talking to my sister, who struggles with stress and anxiety; I was reassuring her that I pray for her, as well as everyone else in my family. She asked what I prayed for. I told her: "Well, I pray that you gain confidence and faith in your abilities, and that you learn to relax. For mom and papa, I pray that they always feel appreciated, that mom reaches the fulfillment she's been searching for and that papa always feels stimulated by his work and those around him." There are a few select others I include in my prayers, plus all the animals in the world who suffer excruciating torture on a daily basis in factory farms, but this was not pertinent to mention in the conversation with my sister.

She then posed the question, "You don't pray for yourself?"

She was right - lately, I haven't been praying for myself. I smiled at the acknowledgment of this simple, yet quite telling phenomenon: I'm happy.

I think a main component of happiness is when you really only want happiness for others. I'm not saying things don't get me down, but I've developed so much faith in life's self-correcting mechanisms that I don't allow these things to let me stay down.

Thanks to all of you who play a positive role in my life.